In which I take this holiday spirit thing a bit too far...
I made Christmas cookies this weekend. I thought it would be a good idea. But again I was confronted with the obvious truth that I am so not Betty Crocker.
First I made spritz cookies, which were my mother-in-law’s thing. Although I ended up with a bunch of little green Christmas trees, as per the plan, I also ended up wiping up green from my kitchen for two days. That wasn’t fun.
Then I made giant ginger cookies. The directions warn you not to overbake them by removing them from the oven when the bottoms are “lightly” brown. Here’s the thing: the dough itself is brown. How the hell do you tell if dough that is already brown has “browned?” The recipe doesn’t answer that question. So I think maybe I overbaked them, despite the warning. They aren’t bad, they just aren’t as soft as one might expect.
Finally, I made sugar cookie cutouts.* Both rolling the dough to a uniform 1/8” thickness and getting the cutouts to maintain their shape during the transfer to the cookie sheet take some kind of talent, which I do not possess. So I finally just gave up and started cutting the dough into abstract shapes with a spatula. This was way easier. Then I had the following exchange with my husband, who was sitting across the room and not participating (unless you call "mocking" participating, and I don’t):
Him: What are you doing with the spatula?
I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t have expected that kind of rigid thinking from someone in marketing. I’m just saying.
*I’m using “made” in the loosest sense of the word. Perhaps “attempted to make” would have been a better choice of words.