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about me


In which I write while whimpering softly…

I thought I’d try to cut down on my caffeine intake.

I normally have coffee every morning. I didn’t have coffee this morning. I was fine without my coffee this morning.

This afternoon, however, was a completely different story.

The pain in my head – oh God, the pain. Everything was fine until 3:00 pm, and then the headache came. I have chased two extra strength Tylenol tablets with 20 fluid ounces of Coca-Cola and yet, still, no relief. Please, help me.

This whole mess reminds me of the time I was learning to telemark ski. I was getting the hang of it. I was going down steeper stuff, while turning and controlling my speed with some regularity. I remember once heading down a run thinking to myself, “I’m getting it! Look it me! I’m kicking ass!” As soon as those thoughts popped into my wool-covered head, I caught an edge and faceplanted. That’s hubris for you.

This afternoon I went for a walk at lunch time. I passed 3 Starbucks and 4 Dunkin’ Donuts.* I had no problem walking right by those stores and avoiding the coffee. I went back to my office and an hour or so later was thinking to myself, “Wow, this isn’t going to be as hard as I thought. I can totally give up caffeine. Surely if I were going to be experiencing symptoms, I would have already. Look at me! I’m kicking ass!” Within 30 minutes, WHAM!, the headache came. This is my caffeine faceplant.**

I guess maybe I need to start back at the bunny hill. Tomorrow I’ll try a 16 oz coffee. Baby steps.

*I’m serious. Boston is a highly-caffeinated city. I think that the reason the revolutionaries were willing to dump all that tea in the harbor back in the day had less to do with protesting taxes and more to do with the fact that they really ordered coffee. (Just kidding kids. That’s not a fact -- don’t quote me in your term papers.)

**Did you know that there are no Google results for a search on the phrase “caffeine faceplant?” Weird huh?