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2006-09-28

In which I ponder war and think, “Uh, good god, what is it good for?” and come to this conclusion: absolutely nothing…

A couple of weeks ago Geoff and I got a new couch. This is it:

The couch is upholstered in stain-guarded microfiber. We chose this fabric deliberately. We did a lot of research and informal surveys to determine what fabrics are recommended for households with pets. It turns out that there is a consensus among the pet-owning community that microfiber and leather are the best options. So we got a couch in microfiber and a chair in leather. Perfect, right?

Wrong.

See it turns out that even though we specifically bought this couch and chair in easily-cleanable fabrics because of the dogs, my husband has now decided that “THE DOGS ARE NOT ALLOWED ON THE NEW COUCH.”

But the thing is that the dogs have always been allowed on the couch. I like having the dogs on the couch. Walter, in particular, is a big old snuggle bug – he’s 70 pounds of cuddly, golden happiness. Without the dogs on the couch, I miss my snuggle time. Instead, I spend the time I would normally spend cuddling, pushing the dogs off the couch/scolding them/trying to get them to listen to me, all before Geoff gets out of his chair and makes them get off the couch. It’s not fun.

We’ve had the couch for a couple of weeks now, and I sort of thought that by now either Geoff would realize the futility in his endeavor, or the dogs would grasp the whole not-allowed-on-the-couch thing. Neither has happened. I was hoping it would be Geoff who would change his mind because, frankly, the dogs are dumb as a box of rocks so the odds of them catching on are pretty slim.

It’s a war at my home. If you’d like some indication of the ridiculousness of this battle, check out Geoff’s newest weapon:

Note that this has not stopped Gus from rubbing himself across the entire front of the couch. I'm waiting for Geoff to bust out the chicken wire and Anti-Canine Missiles (ACMs for short). Do you think they sell those at Petsmart?

Reporting from the front lines, this is Megan, signing off.