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2006-09-17

In which I find my mind in the gutter...

I live near a town called Beverly. To drive to Beverly from my town, you cross over a bridge. Immediately before the bridge, there is a sign that states, "Entering Beverly."

I've only known one Beverly.* She was my father's secretary for many years while I was growing up. Beverly was, as far as I can remember, both extremely nice and competent. She was also roughly the size of an armoire.

Now, whenever I see the sign by the bridge, my mind immediately flashes with the image of Beverly lying on a red heart-shaped bed, draped in a feather boa, and sporting a come-hither look.

It's disturbing.

And I can't control it.

I need help.

Until I can figure out how to get that image Eternal Sunshined out of my mind, I think I need to take a different route into the town. Or maybe someone could introduce me to a smoking hot Beverly. Or maybe, and I'm just thinking out loud here, if your town is named Beverly (or Shirley or Lynn or Lawrence**), you might consider changing the wording of the sign!

I'd suggest "Welcome to Beverly."

Because given the way the sign currently reads, it might as well say, "Megan, Welcome to Many, Many Frightening Years of Therapy."

*"Known" as in "made the acquaintance of," not "known" in a biblical sort of way.

**Also real MA town names.